07 Jan When She Hurts, I Hurt
I try to soothe her, help her cope. Heartache rarely heals. I am strong in front of her, my strength reassures her, but secretly I hurt because she hurts. She cries somberly because there is a void in her life, one I never experienced. She yells, “I think he left because of me.” My heart sinks. As, I gather myself, I let her know that she is not the reason that her dad went away. I comfort her and explain that she is the victim and he is the culprit. All she did was trust, love and became attached. She did what she innately knew how to do.
For seven years, he was the hero of her life. Then one afternoon he vanished. He no longer wanted to be a responsible parent. Now twelve years old she is forced to deal with this matter of the heart. It’s not her fault. I do my best to give her everything she needs and deserves. In my little perfect world her family unit would not be broken. I fight to understand how someone could live each day without knowing the well-being of their child. It’s a losing battle. I can be the best mom that I can be, but I will never be a dad. She hurts, so I hurt.